it seems to me that willing donors would open these letters regardless of cash value so this is what i’m wondering: is the cost of attaching a nickel to every letter worth the chance that cheapskates will get their checkbooks out after they invariably open the envelope to retrieve the coin?

on a side note, i’m surprised to see Jaguar XK120 and DeLorean labels mixed in with the muscle cars.

so much idiocy on so many levels.

the VehiCROSS is relatively unique in that the production version is virtually unchanged from the concept vehicle that preceded it only three years earlier. it was originally intended to show off Isuzu’s off-roading know-how, featuring an intelligent AWD system and something fancy called “monotube shocks with external heat-expansion chambers” which is typically found on off-road racing motorcycles. and to back it all up, the VehiCROSS competed in the 1998 Dakar Rally and actually ended up winning in its class!

although there were only about 6,000 VehiCROSSes produced and only 4,000 or so made it to the US, i’ve probably seen at least 30 of them driving around. that said, i think the Isuzu VehiCROSS looks like a rabid pika on ecstasy. hideous. but don’t let that put you off; at least it’s not an Aztek.

that said, i think the Prowler looks absolutely fantastic. its curves exude menace and its open wheels distract the eye from the garish plastic bumpers required by vehicle safety standards. Chrysler did a pretty good job with this one, i think

it’s just too bad that they followed it up with the PT Cruiser.

having slowed to an unreasonably low speed again, i caught up to Green Accord a few minutes later and was soon only a few car lengths behind it and closing. i watched as Green Accord, with turn signal blinking wildly, drifted slowly into the next lane like a fat man settling into an enormous bean bag. having successfully switched lanes, Green Accord extinguished its turn signal only to suddenly and inexplicably swerve back in front of me only moments later. fortunately for me, i was able to avoid a rear-end collision by switching lanes and, as i passed Green Accord, took a glance at the clattering idiot behind the wheel.

i’m not sure what i was expecting, but an elderly woman with a weapons-grade scowl was not it.

i love small Japanese city cars like the Wagon R because, while they probably can’t do 0-60mph in under ten seconds or lap the Nürburgring in under ten minutes, they’ll weave through traffic, haul a lot of crap, squeeze into all but the tightest of parking spaces and make you smile.

or possibly cry.

COME ON.

where’s Stéphane Peterhansel, Marcus Grönholm, Mat Mladin, Andy Priaulx and Nobuhiro Tajima just to name a few? are you telling me that they’re lesser drivers than the Americans on this list who drive in a straight line or around a big oval for hours on end? give me a break.

WRC: congratulations to Petter Solberg for edging out Sébastien Ogier by 1.1 seconds in the very last stage to claim second place, to Ogier for getting on the WRC podium for the second time ever, to Ken Block for giving it a good shot during his debut and to Sébastien Loeb for winning his fourth successive Rally Mexico.

Oscars: congratulations to the cast and crew of The Hurt Locker for winning a total of six academy awards last night by beating Dances with Blue Cat People for Best Sound Editing, Best Sound Mixing, Best Film Editing, Best Director and Best Picture.

fine, but let me ask you this: isn’t alcohol supposed to make things look better rather than worse?

i had heard of the Studebaker name before but only in reference to the electric vehicles they were producing in the early 1900s. Studebaker was from a bygone era and therefore no longer relevant so i filed it away with the likes of the biplane and steam locomotive as an engineering stepping stone that has been thankfully left behind. little did i know that Studebaker remained active well into the ’60s, producing such bravely styled marvels as the Hawk, Lark, and the Avanti before dying a slow, agonizing death from financial exsanguination.

the Studebaker Avanti is a bit of a rarity with only 4,643 built during its 18 month production run. this explains why i had never seen one until then and why i’ll probably never see one ever again. it seems, then, that the Avanti is more of an apparition than an actual car, an elusive vestige of the American automotive industry that once was. the Avanti is an endangered species.

oh well. it’s kind of ugly anyway.

i saw this Lada 1500 (as it’s known in Canada) stuttering its way through Toronto a few months ago. it didn’t look or sound too good but hey, at least it was out there and not in a junkyard. i’ve always admired the rugged simplicity of Soviet-era machinery. in many ways, the Riva is like an automotive version of the AK-47, the ubiquitous assault rifle that’s simple, reliable and almost impossible to jam. there’s no power windows to fail, no power locks to jam, no seat warmers to overheat and no satellite navigation to get you lost. this car was not built to invoke passion, pioneer technology or showcase engineering prowess; this car was built to be an appliance.

a glorious Soviet appliance.

anyway, i came across this particular DS about a year ago while walking through Amsterdam with a comically large cone of mayonnaise-smothered frites in hand. now, as i gaze upon this gorgeous DS again half a world away in snowy Chicago, i can recall with surprising clarity the crisp autumn air breezing wistfully through the trees, the gentle bobbing of aged canal boats, a greasy but not entirely unpleasant warmth in my stomach and a sense that, for one wavering moment, all is right in the world.

yeah, those frites were fantastic.

on an unrelated note, my girlfriend is laughing at me because she just discovered that i keep my stash of haw flakes in its own metal box.

all we know is…

that said, i am in love with this Mazda Miata, the one pictured above. i love the old school red-rimmed wheels, the fastback hardtop, the exposed rivets on the flared wheel arches and the rest of the body kit. i love how it’s all drenched in stealthy yet menacing black paint and how it all comes together to form a sleek, low-slung symphony of evil.

and it probably belongs to some rich Chinese guy from Diamond Bar who doesn’t deserve it.

i know i don’t really have any off-road driving experience. i know i can’t even afford a secondhand Toyota Land Cruiser, let alone a Bowler Wildcat. i know i’ll probably be spending most of the race digging myself out of the sand and that my car will most likely spend more time on its roof than its tires. i know i’ll be sore and penniless afterward.

but, assuming i finish, i know i’ll experience an overwhelming feeling of accomplishment. i know that i’ll be able to walk away with a satisfaction that dulls the horror of my failures and that, for me, would be worth it.

but first, i need a new hip.

vengeful thoughts aside, two things strike me about this Volkswagen: 1) it looks like it’s been through a lot and 2) it’s got to be one tough little wagon. it’s probably witnessed a great many crazy things in the last 30 years, certainly enough to trade its paint for dents and patches of rust while outlasting most of its contemporaries. this then is a fighter, a great survivor of many things and will probably continue to plod on for years to come. bravo.

i’ve started playing Gran Turismo 4 again recently, a game which i’ve been stuck at 93.1% completion for some time now. i can’t advance past this point because i’m terrible at it and because 6.9% of the game remains unvanquished, there are several prize cars that i have yet to unlock.

enter Beka’s cousin here in Los Angeles who also owns GT4 and, perhaps more importantly, one of those cheating programs for the PlayStation 2. via the cheating device, he has successfully unlocked every single car in the game and has them all stashed away in his in-game garage. since GT4 allows trading between garages, all i had to do was access his save file from mine and then simply buy the cars i didn’t have. some two million in-game dollars later, my collection is complete but my life remains as empty as ever.

just kidding. it’s emptier. Merry Christmas.

anyway, here are his dyno test results (blue is before tuning, red is after)





and in case you couldn’t read the horsepower/torque figures:

parking space theft aside, the Duster doesn’t strike me as a particularly brilliant looking car. it’s not as handsome as the Plymouth Barracuda it replaced or as sleek as the Ford Maverick it competed against. instead, it’s sort of clumsy looking with awkward kinks in the body work and a rear overhang that would scare small children. couple it together with those lemon juicer hubcaps and you have a recipe for an oversized car with vaguely unsettling looks.

oh well, at least the owner had the decency not to get a green one.

the graphics are rather ho-hum, the characters are unbearable, the opposing cars have all been modified to look as ugly as possible and the slapstick physics are frustrating but, amazingly, i don’t mind. it’s alright, actually. it might even be fun.

well, it’s fun until you lose the same race for the 28,673th time. then it becomes the focus of all the hostility and bitterness that you didn’t even know you had. i hate this game. i loathe it.

now if you’ll excuse me, i have a Mitsubishi to pimp out.

(video copyright Team Subaru-Elaion)

okay, i confess. the only reason why i posted this (apart from it being vintage, rare and somewhat interesting) is because it reminds me of Biff’s car in the Back to the Future movies.

he’d rip through us like we were tin foil.

but i can’t afford one, either.

aside from the fact that only a relative handful of people in Cambodia can actually afford one, how spectacular is it that the Honda NSX has made it onto legal tender?

i can’t. i can’t get over how terrible this car looks. its awful from every angle in every aspect from its horrifyingly asymmetrical windows to its queasy raccoon eyes. the only thing i like about the body is GAH! LYING IS A SIN!

American cars have had a long, rich history of terrible ideas and misguided attempts and it seems to be business as usual with the El Camino. of course, this was also the fault of the average American consumer who wanted enormous road-going barges powered by ridiculously inefficient engines.

still better than driving around in snobmobiles like the Toyota Prius, i guess.

1) what appear to be intake vents for the hood come off as “angry eyebrows” and transform the overall shape of the headlight into that of a perilously sharp sock puppet.

2) the garish front air dam looks like an afterthought and the overall feel of the front bumper reminds me of a mid ’90s Japanese economy car.

3) the positioning of the taillights over the rear vents make it look very awkward. it looks almost as if they removed a set of conventional taillight clusters, covered the empty space with gutter grating and then slapped on some spare Enzo taillights they had laying around.

4) i think i’m right in saying that there has never been a production car with three exhaust pipes. do you know why? because only five year-olds would put three exhaust pipes on a car. it looks absolutely awful.

what happened, Ferrari?

the two companies in question are Loncin and Haojue who are fourth and sixth, respectively, in the manufacturers championship which includes the likes of Aprilia, Derbi, KTM and Honda.

i never thought i’d live to see the day.

even though it still bares its fair share of battle scars, i finally feel like i’ve got my old car back again. it’s seen some rough times this past year or so but it’s managed to slog through it all and push onward.

thanks :)

while i have yet to try one out, the idea of a basic, no frills trackday car has immense appeal to me. i would gladly give up fancy things like air conditioning, stereo, and doors for a lightweight racer, assuming i still have a “normal” car to use day to day.

i can’t believe these things are street legal.

spent the day shooting a big motorcycle cruising event thing with lots of bearded, tattooed bikers. it went pretty well until some drunk white kid called me a “son of a bitch” for “bombing Pearl Harbor.”

didn’t think that sort of thing happened anymore.

i think i just caught the notoriously unemotional Dani Pedrosa cracking a smile. i wonder what queries were going through his neuro-net processors.

finally, some good has come of the GM meltdown (besides Pontiac getting the axe).

for those of you wondering what i’m talking about, Koenigsegg is a small Swedish car company that makes fire-breathing supercars that have held world records like fastest production car (241.63 mph until it was beaten by the Bugatti Veyron), highest power to weight ratio for production car (an outrageous 2.87 pounds per horsepower), and most ridiculous speeding ticket ever written (242 mph in a 75 mph zone). they’re the ones taking over Saab, a major manufacturer whose underlying madness had been all but subdued by its soon-to-be former American owners.

excited? maybe not, but i am :)

automotively speaking, this is what southern California is all about: lowriders. here you have a basic Chevy pickup truck from the ’60s that’s been modified, lowered, refinished, painted, buffed, and generally loved, transforming it from a 40 year-old rust bucket into a pristine old school cruiser that’s worth more than Chevrolet ever intended. slick!

dan: im sitting next to the superbikeplanet guys in the [Miller Motorsports Park] media center!

dan: I’M SHARING A POWER STRIP WITH THE SUPERBIKEPLANET GUYS

dan: OMG WTF BBQ

6:22pm: stopped behind some idiot in a beige Oldsmobile Aurora in the left turn lane waiting for a break in traffic. light turns yellow, idiot creeps forward and then comes to a complete stop in the middle of the intersection. i start honking until he slowly decides to inch forward and complete the turn with me following close behind.

6:56pm: stuck behind some idiot in a black Chevrolet HHR while he goes 10mph under the speed limit straddling both lanes. i sound the horn until he finally gets out of the way.

7:08pm: some idiot in a semi cuts me off and then starts tapping his brakes. i die inside.

in light of the recent news of Pontiac’s impending doom, the star of this installment of interesting/rare/vintage cars is none other than the Pontiac LeMans.

while it may look rather harmless today, the LeMans spawned the very first Pontiac GTO in the ’60s which effectively started the entire muscle car movement in the United States. so, in a way, the pristine red Pontiac LeMans you see above is directly responsible for shaping the American car industry while simultaneously clogging the nation’s streets with obscenely loud cars that only go in straight lines.

it may shock some of you to hear this but i think the LeMans is a beautiful car. Pontiac’s iconic split grille looks graceful and uncomplicated, a far cry from the hideous flared nostrils that have disfigured its more recent models. the body lines are elegant, the badging is tastefully done, and the stacked headlight configuration is surprisingly classy.

so riddle me this: how could GM replace THAT with a Daewoo?!

here’s one of those oft-forgotten cars from the ’80s: the Subaru BRAT (Bi-drive Recreational All-terrain Transporter). produced from 1978 to 1993 solely for export to foreign markets, Subaru built the BRAT in an attempt to keep up with proper trucks like the Toyota Hilux and the Mazda B-Series.

as the name may suggest, the BRAT seems annoyingly small and amazingly useless. its forfeiture of rear seats for a small, exposed pickup bed in combination with low ground clearance and mediocre engine make it unsuitable for pretty much any situation i can think of.

but at least it looks good, right?

i remember seeing many bulky, boxy, overweight, underpowered cars like this Mercury Monterey convertible during my childhood and, while i would never buy one, i think i can see the appeal of owning one these days. case in point, the first time i passed by this particular Mercury from the ’60s, there was a shiny Toyota Prius parked next to it voraciously sucking all the fun out of the air.

why drive an anonymous econobox when you can be piloting 30 feet of heavy metal? sure, you’ll get terrible fuel economy and will be constantly overtaken by old ladies in motorized wheelchairs but at least you know that you’re driving something interesting, something with character.

something that’ll break down soon.

welcome to the Jensen Interceptor, an Italian-designed, British-built steel hulk of a grand tourer with a Chrysler big-block V8 capable of churning out an eye-popping 390hp at the rear wheels. this particular model, the Mark III, was produced in the early ’70s and is one of only 6,400 or so Jensen Interceptors to have ever existed.

doesn’t look too bad either, eh?


edit: on behalf of reader Basil Brush, i’d like to remind you all that while the Audi Quattro deserves credit for introducing four-wheel drive to rallying, the Jensen FF (which closely resembles the Interceptor) was actually the first sports car to come equipped with FWD. and it had anti-lock brakes.

because the Toyota Tacoma is about as rare and interesting as a coil of human excrement, someone at Toyota decided to get very drunk one night and came up with a special edition: the X-Runner.

so what makes the X-Runner stand out? a few aero parts, slightly different suspension, and some fancy wheels which doesn’t sound too bad until you realize that the price tag is 10,000 USD heavier than the most basic model. kind of a silly way to spend money, don’t you think?

to be honest, i think special edition trucks like the X-Runner, Ford F-150 Lightning and Dodge Ram SRT-10 are genuinely ridiculous. surely the entire point of the pickup truck is to be a workhorse so why do they bother prettying it up and making it more like a sports car? it’s about as useful and worthwhile as gold plating a wheelbarrow.

i forgot to post this when i saw it a couple of weeks ago: a convoy of six Porsche Panameras heading to a sleazy dealer somewhere in Los Angeles.

easily one of the most anticipated cars of the decade, the Nissan GT-R raised the benchmark both in terms of value for money (it can outrun most supercars for a fraction of the cost) as well as production methods (each engine is hand-built in a hermetically-sealed laboratory, the body was developed over years of wind tunnel testing, etc).

at this point, i could write about how each crease and curve in the body serves an important aerodynamic purpose or about how the wheels have a knurled lip to prevent the tires from coming off during high speed corning; i could go on and on about all the little things on this car that add up to what many people claim is the ultimate package but i won’t because this isn’t an automotive website and i’m too lazy.

i will say this, though: why did it take so long for me to see one in the wild?!

at a glance, this Chrysler Newport Custom is just another nondescript American boat from the late ’60s and it definitely would be if not for the fact that somebody lives in it. yeah, some dude sleeps in there. i know because i see him getting out of the car in the morning all the time despite it only being moved for street cleaning. see that bicycle? it’s actually handcuffed to the door handle and, as far as i can tell, is the guy’s main source of transportation.

as for the car itself, it doesn’t seem to be in too bad a shape; there are no signs of rust or corrosion, just the odd missing piece of trim, some scuffs and faded paint. the interior may be a little worse for wear but it’s difficult to tell with all the crap inside. i could peek in for a closer look next time but i don’t think its resident would be very pleased.

this is a car that i didn’t know anything about before going out to California. built by International Harvester (now a part of commercial truck manufacturer Navistar International), the Scout was one of the first American-built SUVs available to the public and was produced from 1961-1980. i don’t know how well they sold but i’ve seen 4-5 different examples while i was in Los Angeles.

design-wise, they’re very utilitarian with an undertone of awesomeness. feature-wise, they’re pretty basic; there are no creature comforts to speak of unless you count padded seats and a shifter that won’t stab you every time you change gear. add some manly features like a winch, run-flat tires and a gun rack and you could go dinosaur hunting.

clever girl.

they claim that the first car ever seen by 60% of the developing world’s population is the Land Rover (i’m guessing the other 40% saw the Toyota Land Cruiser). yeah, Land Rovers in general are pretty tough little cars. they’ve traveled the world and have been used by all sorts of people for all sorts of reasons. they say 70% of all Land Rovers ever built are still in use today. 70%!

what fascinates me about this one (other than it being only a few feet away from me) is that “POLICIA MILITAR” is written on the side, indicating that this particular vehicle may have been used by the military police of a Spanish or Portuguese speaking country. cool, eh?

it also looks like it could eat that Mini behind it.

okay, this one completely caught me off guard. it’s called the “IT” produced by a Canadian electric car company called Dynasty. yeah, i didn’t know there were any Canadian automakers, either. i suppose the biggest surprise wasn’t that the Canadians were building cars or that one had somehow made it down to California but the fact that i was staring at a pickup truck.

according to Wikipedia, the Dynasty IT has a range of 30 miles (50 kilometers) but doesn’t go any faster than 25mph (40 kph) which means, at top speed, you can only drive for a little more than an hour before you have to charge the batteries again and that estimate is without cargo. these limitations might be fine in a dense, congested city like Rome or New York where you probably can’t go fast anyway but it seems like it’d be pretty useless in Los Angeles, a sprawling city connected by freeways.

still, it’s fun to see that there are people out there doing electric versions of different vehicles. who knows, maybe there’ll be full-sized electric pickups carrying loads of precariously balanced pipes and taking up multiple parking spaces in a city near you one day.

today’s car is a Chevrolet Bel Air Convertible from the early 50s that i found in one of the nicer neighborhoods around here. um, it’s black with chrome accents, has four wheels and seems to be in pretty decent shape.

in case you couldn’t tell, i don’t know a whole lot about old American cars. i can ballpark their age by tracing the evolution of car design but they all start to look the same to me after that. i blame my lack of knowledge on harsh Chicago winters that destroyed these cars before i was born. i’m starting to learn, though. sort of.

this is probably one of the most unusual cars i’ve ever seen in person: a Hudson Eight Convertible from the ’30s. i totally dig the super awesome eagle hood ornament and folding rear bench but i don’t know a whole lot about Hudson or the Eight other than that this will probably be the only one i ever see. the sad thing is, i pass by this car all the time but it’s always locked in its cage.

okay, that’s all i’ve got for this one.

today we’ve got a Mercedes Benz 220 (chassis code W111) from the ’60s painted in what appears to be blood. although it bears resemblance to the much more expensive Mercedes Benz 600 (used by many ruthless dictators), the 220 is nowhere near as big or menacing which leads me to believe that it was primarily used to ferry around wealthy jerks.

plainly, this 220 has seen better days what with its multiple scuffs and scratches, severely dented front end and its tattered interior but i’d argue that these flaws give it character which make it much more interesting than a mint condition example. what’s more, look at the front and you’ll find three grille badges which function as classy bumper stickers.

the UK, the US, and Ethiopia: a strange combination for anyone that’s not an Ethiopian-born British expat. i want to know more about this car, about its current and previous owners, how it got all those dents and scratches, and why it was painted that ugly red color. i wish i could find out more but i don’t want to invade anyone’s privacy.

okay, i’m too lazy to wait for its owner.

today’s car is a Cadillac DeVille convertible from the mid ’60s. i’ve always been fascinated with how the DeVille went from being a hot rod and a lowrider to its final incarnation as a crappy senior citizen’s land barge. of all the later generation (’80s to ’00s) DeVilles i’ve seen out on the street, the only driver that wasn’t old and frail was fat and definitely stupid. so, if you see one, avoid it because the driver will either race you, shoot you, or slam on the brakes for no apparent reason.

this here is the Reatta, Buick’s luxury sports coupe from the late ’80s to early ’90s. no one knows why Buick decided to build a slow, fast looking car but rumor has it that it’s because they were idiots. this monstrosity sold so poorly and to people with such low brain activity that the Reatta has now become exceedingly rare. case in point, this is only the second one i’ve ever seen and will hopefully be the last.

as the name might suggest, the Karmann Ghia was a Volkswagen collaboration between Italian design firm Ghia and the German coach builder Karmann. unfortunately, i don’t know a whole lot else about it other than that it’s gorgeous. i saw a lime green example once back in Chicago but i’ve seen three or four of these babies here just within a month or so. fantastic.

anyway, that was the first of probably many installments of interesting/rare/vintage cars in Los Angeles. these will get better, i promise.

okay. i hope.

now i’ll have to endure two more weeks of motorsport withdrawal until WRC starts up again on the 30th.

cause of death is not yet known but hopefully this will be the last one.

i’ve been following the Paris-Dakar for about eight years now with varying degrees of interest but i’ve only become truly enthusiastic about it during the last few years. i’ve gone back and reviewed the highlights of previous Dakars, watching it grow from 182 competitors in 1979 to 525 in 2007. it’s been a thing of inspiration for me recently, the thought of blasting through the Sahara Desert in a rally car excites me to no end and so i decided to make competing in the Dakar one of my life’s goals.

i realize that competing in the world’s toughest race requires much more than a Bowler Nemesis, pile of money, small team of maniacs, and enough stupidity to break Earth’s gravitational pull. i know i’ll have to start small and work up to it but it’s something i’d really like to do one day.

so, anybody got an old Land Cruiser or Hilux they don’t want?

and now we can finally buy liquids!

what a sad day :(

so enter the 2008 Race of Champions, Nations’ Cup, round two: Autosport Great Britain vs. USA.

HEAT 1 – Jenson Button (Formula 1) vs. Carl Edwards (NASCAR):
Edwards goes straight into the barriers in turn one, loses by 10 seconds.

HEAT 2 – Andy Priaulx (World Touring Car Championship) vs. Tanner Foust (Formula Drift):
Foust stalls his Focus WRC three times before finally stuttering off the line, loses by 12 seconds.

useless! bring back Travis Pastrana!

- chronic bronchitis
- a 12 month subscription to Cat Fancy
- holes in my pants
- an Apple computer
- bed bugs
- R. Kelly trapped in my closet
- a Reliant Robin with one wheel missing
- calluses on my face
- six back-to-back screenings of Kill Bill
- shag pile carpeting in any amount

dumpsters are great because rich people are dumb. case in point, i found a perfectly good lower grille from a 2006-2008 Volkswagen Rabbit/Golf GTI at a posh building near downtown Los Angeles. how perfectly good? how does bubble wrap fresh from the manufacturer sound to you? mmm!

so if you know someone who’s got a current generation GTI, kick his lower grille in and link him to my auction page. thanks!

this is the plateless silver Tesla Roadster i spotted parked next to a crappy building in Los Angeles a couple of nights ago. it’s certainly not my rarest automotive sighting (i’ve stood between two Alpina Z8′s and, on another occasion, saw two Bugatti Veyrons at the same dealership) but it’s arguably the most significant. to many, the Tesla marks the beginning of the end for sports cars as we know it and is proof that efficiency and performance are not mutually exclusive. it’s a sign of greater things to come and standing briefly in its presence was a strange and wonderful experience for me.

oh yeah, the beep you hear at the 0:04 mark is a text message from my old roommate: “steal that shit it’s silent no one will know it’s gone”

i’m sure a lot of normal, decent people out there drive hybrids as well; it’s just a shame that they’re so frequently associated with the insecure losers who have turned it into a trend.

TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN: PLEASE MAKE OBTAINING A DRIVER’S LICENSE SIGNIFICANTLY HARDER

and…

CONGRATULATIONS, SÉBASTIEN LOEB!

more than a month after it was unhappily sandwiched between a GMC Sierra and a Scion tC, my car is finally back in working order! i’ve lost power locking in the driver’s door, the fresh paint is slightly more saturated, the new rear doors’ lock stalks are a different color than the rest of the interior, but it’s drivable, parkable, and back on the streets :)

it’s a good thing i’m not footing the bill.

this is the story of VEHICLE 1.

VEHICLE 1, a 1998 Honda Civic sedan, got up early this morning to get its front driver side tire patched at the body shop because it had been leaking air quite badly. then, on the way home from the body shop, VEHICLE 1 traveled southbound when VEHICLE 2, a commercial work van that was facing the wrong direction on the opposite side of the street, came charging in from across the yellow lines and struck VEHICLE 1 between the front and rear driver side doors. having had its direction of travel altered by the forceful impact with VEHICLE 2, the rear passenger side door of VEHICLE 1 makes contact with the driver side rear bumper of VEHICLE 3, an unoccupied vehicle legally parked on the side of the road.

VEHICLE 3 suffers a dented rear bumper and a cracked driver side taillight, VEHICLE 2‘s front bumper has also been dented, while VEHICLE 1 looks like this:

sigh :(

i know i should be grateful that i had a car to drive between Las Vegas and Los Angeles. i know i should be glad that i didn’t have to walk through the Mojave or ride a donkey through the mountain passes but i’m going to complain a little anyway.

to be truthful, the car–a late ’90s Mitsubishi Mirage powered by a 1.5 liter four cylinder engine that, once upon a time, generated an extravagant 92 horsepower–struggled a bit. okay, it struggled a lot. i spent most of the time cowering in the slipstream of other vehicles, afraid to put the air conditioning on in the 110°F heat for fear that the engine would suffer even more. i watched the speedometer slowly drop as i flogged it uphill, a steady stream of cars passing me by.

but again, i really shouldn’t be complaining. someone was nice enough to lend it to me, it got me safely there, and misery builds character.

well, i locked myself out of the car for the first time ever today. anyone out there who’s ever done the same thing knows exactly how i felt as i stared through the window at my keys dangling from the ignition, dumbfounded by my own stupidity.

luckily, Tom–the Korean guy who worked at the nail salon across the street–just happened to have car unlocking tools in his trunk and graciously helped me get the door open. i gave him six bucks (all the cash in my wallet) and a bottle of lemonade from the corner store to show my gratitude.

there are still some good people in this world :)

some say that Buick was the first to put fender vents like the ones above on their cars, others say that Buick borrowed the idea from Maserati. regardless, whoever came up with it most likely modeled it after WWII era fighter planes that had holes in the forward body panels to accommodate the engine’s exhaust system. at any rate, Buick’s fender vents have traditionally represented the number of cylinders underhood (further evidence supporting an homage to WWII fighter planes); four vents on each side meant a V8, three meant V6. anyway, this old-fashioned style of fender vent has been resurrected in recent years; most notably in the 2006 Buick Lucerne. this, in case you were wondering, is the point where it all goes wrong.

check out the above photo that i took the other day. this, ladies and gentlemen, is a Suzuki Aerio, a wholly unspectacular car with a spectacularly misguided owner. nevermind that the Aerio has only ever come with four cylinder engines, this car’s fender vents aren’t even vents. so let’s take a quick step back and review the choices made by this Aerio driver. (s)he…

• paid good money for plastic simulated fender vents
• increased the drag coefficient of the car, thus hurting fuel economy
• made an already ugly car just a little bit uglier

and it isn’t just this one Suzuki owner, either. i’ve come across quite a few cars with these fender vents over the years but the number of offenders seems to have spiked recently. i’ve even come across a BMW M5 (E39) that wished it was a Buick Lucerne.

devastation.

well, it’s time to start saving up.

it would’ve been okay if he had done it by rolling his car in a spectacular off or something but the unfortunate truth is that the reason for his early departure was purely idiotic. basically, Loeb’s C4 collided head-on with that of fellow Citroën driver Conrad Rautenbach between stages. what a disappointment.

nothing else really happened today, sorry.

of course, that would be true if only BMW of Lincoln hadn’t tried backing out of the auction saying that they’ve “made a mistake.” this has enraged dooma350 (and the multitude of people that have heard his story) and so now he’s going after BMW of Lincoln with truth and justice (and “the power of the internet”) on his side.

so spread the word! post it on other sites, send it to your local media outlet, tell your baby’s mama, and let’s make an example of this dealer.

click here to read the whole story

i finally made it to the 2008 Chicago Auto Show today to see the GT-R and saw the GT-R i did.

*yawn*

but get this: sometime after the cars are driven away, they’re driven back. and parked in the same spots. and the keys mysteriously returned to the homes they were taken from. apparently the only indication of any foul play is that the proper owners “misplace” their keys and then find some extra miles on the odometer. oh, and one car was found crashed in a nearby town.

another year, another season of the World Rally Championships. this year starts off, as always, in Monte Carlo with new tire rules (Pirellis, no run-flat mousse, less compounds to choose from) set in place to make things more interesting. the new rules had claimed its first victim early on as Ford’s #2 driver Jari-Matti Latvala suffered a puncture during the first stage costing him nearly four minutes as he and his co-driver pulled over to change the tire. don’t feel sorry for him, though. he’s only 22 years old and he’s already a professional rally driver. i didn’t even have a car at 22.

in other news, the freshman Suzuki World Rally Team has been running two new SX4′s though one suffered turbo problems pretty early on. big news also for Subaru as they plan to introduce the next generation Impreza later this season while their current car continues running the stages. it’ll be exciting to see how much of a difference the new car will make and whether or not it’ll give former champ Petter Solberg the extra edge he needs to realistically challenge the likes of Sordo, Hirvonen, and Loeb. well, maybe not so much Loeb.

out of curiousity, how many people out there have any idea what i’m on about?

it probably costs more money than God but good heavens, do i want one.

well, Marcus Grönholm is a mincer.

for those of you who aren’t into cars, this is a Nissan Skyline R33 GT-R a.k.a. ‘Godzilla,’ a pretty rare find in North America because they were never sold here. many consider the Skyline GT-R overrated because of its legendary status and tendency to be over-idolized by ‘riceboys’ worldwide but truthfully, it doesn’t make it any less of a car.

it may not be as fast as a Koenigsegg CCX, as agile as a Lotus Exige, or as beautiful as a Lamborghini Reventón but it’ll still put a smile on my face. even when i’m just staring at it.

in a car, obviously.

i’m not quite sure why i had never noticed this before, but Carlos Ghosn (CEO of Nissan Motor Company and Renault S.A.) looks a LOT like Rowan Atkinson.

ABSOLUTELY. staggering.

staggering.

Dan: ?????????

ivan: isn’t that awesome?!

Dan: it looks like something hitler drove as a kid!

it would certainly limit the number of accidents caused by idiots but, sadly, not idiots.

everything was going fine until we hit traffic in the Kabul Gorge on the way back. one of the many trucks on the road had been ultimately too weak for its cargo and had left it on the side of the road, effectively blocking traffic in one direction. then everyone proceeded to jam through the remaining lane to pass and eventually turned into a miles-long snake of trucks and cars.

the great thing about Afghan traffic jams is that, instead of yelling, swearing, and fighting each other, everyone gets out and relaxes. cigarettes are lit, everyone tries to help direct traffic, hands are shaken, and smiles are passed out with reckless abandon. it was an awesome sight to behold.

i had just gotten off the Star Ferry on the Kowloon side when i noticed an all-terrain motorbike plastered with stickers near the pier. having been a big fan of the Long Way Round series, i immediately suspected its owner to be a world-trekking adventurer. and right i was.

his name is Vladimir Alekseevich Yarets, a deaf and mute 66 year old from Minsk who’s traveling around the world on his (donated) BMW F 650 GS. i shook his hand and gave him 40HKD for petrol.

good luck!

being somewhat of a wannabe adventurer myself, i found the whole concept unbelievably appealing and just became more and more excited about my own upcoming trip. i’ll be traveling by plane and not motorbike but i will quite literally be going from gate XX to gate YY at O’Hare the long way ’round.

cheers :)

left: 2007. right: 2003.

because i can.

26 inch rims on a Caprice. you can’t make this stuff up.

two Bugatti Veyrons in the same room.

i’m talking, of course, about Top Gear and the recent decision by the BBC to postpone it until host Richard Hammond makes sufficient recovery from the brain trauma suffered during his 280mph rocket car accident last week. reports indicate that Hammond is already walking about, cracking jokes, and reportedly begging the BBC to air the footage of his near death experience.

unfortunately, there are many people who have been waiting to use an event like this as an excuse to cancel Top Gear for good but, thankfully, there are many more that simply will not stand for it.

let’s hope and pray that the BBC does not give in to the uptight environmentalists, health and safety philistines, and anyone who seeks to put an end to Top Gear. fellow petrolheads, let us stand together and fight for the soul of that which has so touched ours.

sigh.

i think i swore in several languages and, at one point, vowed to slay my brother as soon as i was free of the machine but it’s hard to say what exactly went through my mind as i was too preoccupied with not falling off the bike, trying to breathe, and keeping my internal organs internal. by the time i climbed off, my glasses felt like they were pressed flush against my face, my hair was bathed in chaos, and my arms felt like they were on fire.

it was disturbingly enjoyable.

are you people aware that your car will slow down if you just take your foot off the gas?!

sometimes you’ve just got to take a step forward, roll up your sleeves, and make your own fun.

c’mon, you know i had to buy a pimptastic Triad car sooner or later.

1963 Daihatsu Midget + stage one turbo kit + snow tires + ice track = good fun

it was a dark night, as most nights are, and i was on my way home from a friend’s place. having driven the same route many times before, i went straight in a ‘straight or left turn’ lane and a pig on the other side of the intersection U-turned to follow me and lit up.

to be truthful, i panicked a bit when i saw red and blue in my rearview mirror. my mind raced as i fought to remember every mundane traffic law i could to figure out which one i broke. did i drive over a firehose without proper consent? was one of my taillights out? did i change lanes within 5,000 feet of an intersection? a spotlight shined into my mirrors and a silhouette strolled up as my window rolled down.