i saw a shiny blue Volvo C70 convertible on Lake Shore Drive this morning who was both speeding and swerving within its lane. i glanced over as i caught it in the bends and was shocked to see an elderly woman who looked to be at least 90 happily chatting away on a bright pink cell phone.

i spotted a nun driving a maroon Nissan Murano the other day. this struck me as odd for the following reasons:

1. 1) i’ve never seen a nun in public before
2. 2) i wasn’t aware that nuns were allowed to leave their monasteries
3. 3) i would’ve expected a nun to drive an economy car, not an SUV
4. 4) i’m incredibly ignorant when it comes to nuns

some jackass tried to cut me off on the road today but i sped up slightly to stop him (he barely had enough space anyway). in retaliation, he spent about 30 seconds pulling in front of me and slamming on his brakes to try and get me to hit him. as i finally outmaneuvered him and squeezed past, i looked over and saw him glaring at me with his beady little eyes while breathing heavily out of his mouth, a baseball cap sitting sideways atop his comically undersized head.

and he was driving a purple car.

i was filling up at a gas station the other day when i noticed a brand new white Cadillac pull up to the side of the main building. a pudgy man got out of the driver’s seat, walked over to a huge pile of trash bags leaning against the wall and proceeded to fill his car with garbage. he packed his entire back seat and then stuffed five or six more bags into the trunk. he managed to close the trunk lid after a few tries and then got back in his car and drove away.

things i saw on the road today:

• crumpled car hood
• big pile of clothes
• large green couch cushion
• bad drivers

the “check engine” light that came on in my car mysteriously turned itself off today while i was driving.

one less thing to worry about or veiled harbinger of doom?

got a parking ticket today because i didn’t feed the meters in a private lot. the good news is, the fine was actually cheaper than what i would’ve had to pay to park there legitimately.

thanks to my brother Dan the super sleuth, i now know about the mystery badge i posted yesterday. it’s the emblem of the Ancient Arabic Order of the Nobles of the Mystic Shrine (founded, strangely enough, by two white men in Manhattan) or, as they are more commonly known, the Shriners.

shouldn’t this have been found on a much smaller car then?

i spotted this strange emblem on the back of a Hyundai the other day but it’s from no country that i know of. anyone know what it is?

there’s a part of Indiana that refuses to observe daylight savings time and even though i only really think of our eastern neighbor when i’m stuck behind one of its many infuriatingly clueless drivers in traffic here in Chicago, i admire the audacity of that Hoosier slice. i applaud their ability to display their grubby, corn-husking middle fingers in defiance and stand up to the clock Nazis in Washington.

at least that’s what i did until today when i discovered that the entire state of Indiana has been observing daylight savings time since April 2, 2006.